北京君誠學校家校講堂 | 如何教會孩子對他人友善：學會對他人友善，不僅僅對孩子的社交、情感、健康有好處，而且會讓孩子終身受益。在最近的調查中，世界公司的執(zhí)行官們都表示：友善和同理心是他們招聘職員的兩個重要特質。然而，在當今的數字時代，孩子們的“屏幕所占時間”比“與人相處的時間”更多，因此培養(yǎng)善良和同理心變得越來越難。心理學家建議，以下這些方法可以用來幫助孩子們來發(fā)展這些特質。Showing kindness is good for the world. It’s good for your child’s social and emotional development and health. In recent surveys with CEOs of the worlds leading companies kindness and empathy were two of the traits they looked for in leadership positions. However, in today’s digital age where children have more ‘screen time’ than ‘people time’ it has become harder and harder to foster kindness and empathy. Leading psychologist offer the following ways to help develop these traits in children.

　　1、與您的孩子經常談論感受。當您和孩子談話時，注意觀察他們的面部表情，看到他們的感受。“我從你的臉上看到你在悲傷或生氣。”當你看到其他人擁有類似的表情時，問問你的孩子，這些人的面部表情給你的感覺如何，你覺得他們現在是什么樣的心情。讓您的孩子了解他人的感受，將有助于他們開始理解每個人都有自我情感。

　　Speak to your child about feelings often. When you see your child’s feelings talk about what you see based on their facial expression. “I can see from your face that you are sad or angry.” When you see other people with similar expression ask your child what does their face tell them about how they are feeling. Getting your child to see how others are feeling will help them to start to understand that everyone has feelings.

　　2、教會您的孩子感恩。告訴您的孩子，擁有家人、擁有這一切是一件多么幸運的事。世界并不，所有一切也不是平等的。首先，您應做出示范，對孩子表示感謝。向您的孩子表明您非常感激您的家庭、您的工作、您的生活和您的家人，讓您的孩子知道，不是每個人都像你們的家一樣幸運，這就是真實的生活。讓您的孩子盡早學習生活中的事實，有助于使您的孩子學會對自己所擁有的一切表示感恩。感恩是學習同理心的步。Teach your child to be grateful. It’s never too early to teach your child how lucky your family is to have all that they have. It’s not a perfect world and all is not equal. You should model gratitude for your child. Show your child that you are very grateful for your home, your job, your life and your family. Let your child know that everyone isn’t as lucky as your family. It’s a fact of life. Learning this fact of life early, helps center your child and helps him learn to be grateful for all that he has. Being grateful is the first step to learning empathy.

　　3、研究表明，經常參加慈善活動或社區(qū)義工活動可以提高孩子的同情心和自尊心。讓您的孩子每年兩次整理出一個盒子，收拾自己的一些舊玩具、舊書、舊衣服等，準備捐給慈善機構或者是社區(qū)。讓您的孩子自己完成這件事是很重要的。將所有東西整理好之后，讓您的孩子寫一封簡短的便條，上面寫著誰曾經擁有過這些東西，感謝未來的主人把這些東西帶走，并希望新主人像他曾經一樣喜歡它們。捐贈事物并為需要幫助的人提供幫助，是建立同情心的重要組成部分。Now that we’ve learned it’s not a perfect world, we want to teach kindness. Teach your child to care about others. Research shows that children who get involved and donate to charity groups have improved empathy and self esteem. Ask your child twice a year to put together a box to donate to charity. In this box should be toys, books and clothes that your child no longer wears, reads or plays with. It is important that your child does this himself. After putting these things together, ask your child to write a short note, telling who ever gets these things thank you for taking them and that he hopes he enjoys them as much as he did. Donating things and being part of giving to those in need is a big part of process of building empathy.

　　遵循這些步驟并與您的孩子交談會非常有助于孩子的心理健康。當讀書成為一種習慣時，將他們從電視、電腦和平板電腦中分離出來也會很順利。友善和同情心是關于朋友、家庭和社區(qū)的。我們無法從虛擬世界中學到這一點。Following these steps and talking to your child and modeling kindness and empathy will help to develop these traits in your child. Putting books in your Childs hand, and pulling them away from the TV and computer and IPAD will go along way as well. Kindness and empathy is about people, friends, families and communities. We can’t learn that from computers.